


Epic Haus Lounge Party

by Madiedoodle



Series: Domestic Zimbits [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pool Shenanigans, Ransom and Holster you had one job, Who buys the pool and who throws bath bombs into it from the roof?, and Who is gonna buy Bitty a couch damn it?, in which everyone is a huge dork, why can't poor Bitty just have a nice evening?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:38:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7401148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madiedoodle/pseuds/Madiedoodle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So who buys the an above ground pool for the haus backyard and who buys a million bath bombs from lush and throws them off the roof into the water"</p>
<p>Another crackish fic, by me. Ransom and Holster had one job, and did not complete that job, but it all worked out in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epic Haus Lounge Party

It was just a regular day at the Haus. Or as regular as a day could be. Bitty considered it to be a rather good day, as he stood in the kitchen. Betsy II was warming up quite nicely as he prepared the filling for the pie, and Ransom and Holster had finally relented and went out to buy a new couch, only agreeing after he offered to send them pies wherever they ended up, once a week for the rest of their lives(something he would have done anyways, but a little bit of bribery never hurt anybody). The Haus was rather quiet, free of Ransom and Holster, while Nursey, Dex, Chowder, Lardo, Jack and Shitty sat outside in the yard, mismatched furniture and all. It was one of the rare times that both Jack and Shitty had been able to come up to Samwell the entire year, and Bitty could feel his heart swelling at the sight of everyone out there again. 

It was peaceful and calm, all until Ransom and Holster return. 

“Alright, Bitty, Bits, Bitman, little Bits. We may have….”  
“Not gotten a couch.”  
“But don’t worry bro it’ll be ‘swawsome, you’ll see.” They said, tag teaming Bitty in a conversation he almost couldn’t follow. He could hear the sounds of a large truck backing up, beeps of warning and all, and Bitty had to take a deep breath to brace himself for whatever happened next. 

“Slow down. If you didn’t buy a couch, what is it that you bought?” Bitty asked, mustering his patience as he saw the grins of terrifying glee from both Ransom and Holster. 

“Well, Rans and I were at the furniture store, looking at couches, when we saw it.” Holster started with, still not presenting any of the information that Bitty needed to puzzle together what it was they had bought. 

“And Holtzy and I thought ‘This is our last semester at Samwell, we may as well enjoy it in style.’” Ransom continued, and Bitty raised his eyebrows in concern. Whatever it was they bought, it can’t be good. 

A knock on the door prevented the schpiel from continuing, and Bitty just shook his head, taking off his oven mitts and apron to go answer the door. In front of him stood a harried looking delivery man, large truck behind him as he looked down at Bitty. 

“Here to deliver your pool.” The man said, thrusting the clip board towards Bitty for him to sign for. 

“’Swawsome, thanks.” Ransom said from behind Bitty, reaching over him and grabbing the clipboard out of Bitty’s hand, an easy task as Bitty was too dazed to put up much of a fight. Ransom was signing the paper and handing it back to the man before Bitty knew it, and he let out a shocked gasp before springing into action. 

“No wait no is there any way you can take it back? Theres been a mistake, I made a mistake, I let these two idiots be in charge of furniture. No please don’t leave that there. Oh dear lord no. RansomandHolsteryouhadonejobblessyourheartsI’mgonnakillyou.” Was his running mantra as the men unloaded what looked to be an above ground pool, moving it into the yard of the Haus, much to the bewildered amusement of everyone there. Nursey and Chowder were the first to begin to help opening the box of pool parts and begin assembling, Dex giving an exasperated sigh before moving to assist them, afraid that they would assemble it wrong somehow. 

Lardo looked on in amusement from her place on the deck chair, sunglasses shielding her eyes as she sipped the lemonade that Bitty had made earlier in the day for ‘the Epic Haus Lounge Party’ that involved spiked lemonade and running through the sprinklers. And it had been going to well, too, up until this fiasco. 

Jack’s hand on his shoulder is what calmed him down, pulling him over to the deck lounge that sat under the tree, so they could watch the shenanigans unfold. “It’ll be nice, the pool.” Jack said, and Bitty gave a reluctant nod. It will be nice, but he couldn’t help but be irked that they used Haus funds to buy a pool instead of a couch. But he slowly relaxed, as Jack ran his hands over Bitty’s back, as their feet tangled, and he watched in amused horror as a giant above ground pool began to slowly appear, under the careful instruction of Dex with the help of the others. Shitty had disappeared in all the mess, and Bitty couldn’t even bring himself to be concerned about it. 

After two hours of work, the pool had been assembled and was slowly being filled with water. Shitty, in his glory and insanity, had somehow managed to make it to a store to purchase pool floaties, and a suspicious bag that Bitty had yet to identify the contents of(weed? More alcohol? Hamsters? Bitty can’t be sure until the bag is opened but he really hopes it’s not hamsters again). 

A half hour of pool filling shenanigans, in which ransom and holster manage to splash half the water out and it has to be refilled, and they’re just about ready to jump into the pool, when Shitty appears on the roof. Despite the chop, they can all picture his flow blowing out in the wind, sunglasses firmly places over his eyes, moustache poised in glorious victory as Shitty held up the bag of unknown contents. 

“In this glorious moment, in this glorious gathering, our Epic Haus Lounge Party has become the highlight of my year. From all these cocktail parties, and schmoozing and other rich people shenanigans, I can always count on you to have my back and prevent me from losing myself to the nonsense of the Harvard Snobs™, and thus I have a gift for you. On this glorious day, we shall witness the magic that is seventy three lush bath bombs, courtesy of my parents. Let’s get this party started!” he exclaimed from the roof, and then poured the contents of the large bag into the pool. They all watched in awe as each bath bomb hit the water, a varitable geyser of sparkly, colorful madness erupting from the pool, Ransom and Holster shrieking in glittery horror as they attempted to escape death by bath bomb explosion. The pool practically vibrated in strain as it attempted to hold in the wrath of all those bath bombs, holding together solely by the grace of god and Dex’s skill with a screw driver. As the last bath bomb hit the pool, Shitty took a bow, and flung himself off the roof and into the pool. It was a miracle that Shitty didn’t miss the pool, but one perfectly executed belly flop later and Shitty was lounging in what was now a colorful, sparkly Jacuzzi, Lardo on one side, lounging in a donut pool floaty, while Ransom, Holster, Chowder, Nursey, and Dex had all climbed in as well, marveling at the sparkly mess that was the water. 

Bitty couldn’t help but roll his eyes at what a mess it all was, but it was their mess, so somehow it was still okay. 

It was okay until Jack picked him up and threw him into the pool, that is.


End file.
